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Kia Stephens

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May 11, 2015

For Mothers Raising Kids Without Fathers

May 11, 2015 | By | 41 Comments

No little girl dreams about being a single mom; it just happens.

Divorce

Adultery

Addiction

Abandonment

Death

Abuse

Instantly, the fantasy of happily ever after suffers a serious blow – taking a little hope with it.  Engulfed in a situation that seems so final, women muster the strength to overcome. My mom did.

I was still in diapers when my parents divorced – too small to comprehend the ramifications the end of a marriage would have on my life.  And although my childhood memories aren’t filled with a 2 parent household, all my immediate needs were taken care of.  I had no understanding of how my mom did it or how difficult it was to raise me alone, until now.

I used to think mothering was cute – a nice little byproduct of marriage.  However, after a few years in the parenting trenches, I can now say that myth has been debunked.  From it’s inception mothering is a joy, but it is also messy, difficult, and completely unpredictable.  I now realize getting those small humans out was actually the easy part; rearing them is much more challenging.

Everyday, from the morning routine to bedtime, it is simply non-stop – meals, cleaning, homework, patience, discipline, extra – curricular activities, conflict resolution; it never ends.  But the weight of keeping the balls circling in mid air does not rest solely on me;  there is a team effort in our household.  Even still, at the end of the day I’m exhausted and I can’t fathom doing it by myself; although many women do.

Courageously taking up the mantle of responsibility they accomplish what must be done.  I’ve seen it countless times.  Whether it is the mother whose husband suddenly died leaving her with four kids, or the woman with an unfaithful spouse, women are bearing the weight of being a single mom.

So to the woman steeped in parenting quicksand – about to go under – here’s a rope.  

For Mothers Raising Kids Without Fathers Meme

He is aware and concerned about you.  And though we, as mothers, live in the mundane – scraping Cheerios off of the couch, scrubbing toilets, and chauffeuring little people like a taxi driver – we are not insignificant.

Your sacrifice, perseverance, and selfless service are seen by an all-knowing God.  And in the midst of overdue bills, incomplete housework, and broken dreams, God the dream-giver is thinking of you.  “Give all your worries and cares to Him for He cares about you. “ 1 Peter 5:7(NLT)

For Mothers Raising Kids Without Fathers Meme 2

If you find yourself overwhelmed by the gravity of managing it all, cast your cares on your heavenly father. This is a daily practice I learned from my mother.  In the morning it was not uncommon to find her crouched down on bended knee crying out to God for all that concerned her.  I’m sure, I was a frequent topic of discussion during my transition to adulthood.

And so mom, if your reading (and I know you are) thank you for never throwing in the proverbial towel on the task of raising me; I know it wasn’t easy.  Thank you for the prayers prayed, money spent, games you sat through, and the times when you were I-can’t-do-another-thing- tired; but you did.

To the single mother reading this post, be encouraged.  When you feel alone know He is smack dab in the middle of your mothering whirlwind, and He is more than capable of meeting your needs.  Most importantly, know that when the lights go down on Mother’s Day and we are on to the next national celebration, your value will not fade into the distance or be forgotten by the God who made you.

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Comments

  1. Thank you for an awesome word of encouragement ! I know that if it wasn’t for my Heavenly Father I couldn’t handle all that comes with being a single mother of two! And I love the part where u thank your mom! I can relate to the being to tired to do anything else but yet he gives me just enough to keep going!!

    • La”Cresha, I am honored this post encouraged you. I honestly believe God had this post on my mind because He was thinking about you and all the single moms out there. May
      He continue to strengthen you and drop periodic nuggets of encouragement your way – just like He did with this post. Be blessed! – Kia

  2. What an encouraging post, thank you for sharing. Motherhood is hard whether you are doing it alone or not, but the Lord sees our hard work and will always provide for us! — Romany
    Romany recently posted…Courgette and Halloumi StacksMy Profile

    • You can say that again Romany, motherhood is tough whether we are alone or not but God’s grace is so sufficient! Glad you stopped by. Be blessed! – Kia

  3. Hi Kia,
    It is wonderful to meet you. I found you at Proverbs 31 Woman. Great post for single moms but all moms too. We need to remember always that God cares for us.
    Blessings,
    Janis
    Janis recently posted…Sunday Stillness – Are you working or dreaming? – An Ant LessonMy Profile

    • Janis, we definitely need to remember that God cares for us. It gets tough to believe when we are doing the non-glorious parts of mothering. Thankfully God reminds us of His care and concern for us in His word. Be blessed! – Kia

  4. This is so right on! I was a single mom for about 5 years. God kept His hand on us the whole time! He NEVER let us fall. I am simply amazed when I look back and see His provision.Lovely post and tribute to your mother!
    Dede recently posted…How God Brings Change SometimesMy Profile

    • Dede, I am so glad that God kept you during that time. I too am amazed at the God we serve! Thank you for your words. Be blessed! – Kia

  5. Great message! As a single mom I love the encouragement and the knowing that God is exactly how you get through it all. My sons are grown now and they lost their father in their teenage years but it doesn’t matter the age or the circumstances. God is faithful when you reach out in trust to Him. Blessings! Visiting you from Testimony Tuesday.
    Mary Geisen recently posted…Dear TeacherMy Profile

    • Thanks Mary you have such an incredible perspective as a woman who has experienced a painful loss first hand. I can’t imagine what you went through but I love your your words “God is faithful when you reach out in trust to Him.” Amen Mary – that packs a punch coming from you. So glad you stopped by. Be blessed! – Kia

  6. Hi Kia! I’m glad I was your neighbor at #RaRaLinkup! My mom was a single mother, and I so appreciate her work, all the more now as I’m raising my own with the help of my husband. May your words bless many single moms in need of encouragement!
    Betsy de Cruz recently posted…Pressing on Towards Your DreamsMy Profile

    • Glad to be your neighbor as well Betsy. Thanks for sharing how this post personally impacted you. It is always great to connect with women who have similar life experiences. I am amazed at God’s ability to take the imperfect parts of our story and make them beautiful. Be blessed! – Kia

  7. I was also raised in a single mom home. I appreciated her a bit at the time, but much more now that I’m a mother. Every mom makes the sacrifice needed for the sake of their child. Thank you so much for this encouraging post!
    Samantha recently posted…Happy Yo Mama’s DayMy Profile

    • Samantha, isn’t it funny how things come full circle when we become adults. There was a lot I was simply blinded to but see so much clearer now. I am so glad this post was an encouragement to you. Be blessed! – Kia

  8. Beautiful message, Kia. I definitely give hats off to single moms. Thank the Lord your mom leaned on Him. What wisdom! You are a line of that prayer legacy. God is good. Visiting via #coffeeforyourheart
    Kristi recently posted…Fearing God When We Don’t Feel Like ItMy Profile

    • Kristi, I am ‘definitely a line of her prayer legacy”. A single mom can with the help of God the Father. Be blessed! – Kia

  9. HI Kia, as always, I delight in your words of hope and encouragement. I totally saw how you framed your feelings. It makes it intriguing to read. Keep up all the great work. I loved seeing you on the Compel Linkup today!

    • Thanks Kelly, it is always a pleasure to receive words of encouragement from you. Be blessed! – Kia

  10. Kia, I love your words for single moms: “When you feel alone know He is smack dab in the middle of your mothering whirlwind.” So beautiful! Thanks for sharing! Kim

    • Thank you Kim! Glad you visited from #compeltraining . Be blessed! – Kia

  11. What a gift you are to single mothers.
    Bless you!
    What a high calling to mother alone, but I love how you’re coming alongside single mothers and offering an encouraging word of hope, and understanding.
    Lovely!
    Blessings,
    ~ Brenda Ottinger
    Brenda Ottinger recently posted…Farmer’s DaughterMy Profile

    • Brenda, I agree with your beautiful words, mothering alone is a high calling. Women who wear these shoes could use some encouragement. Be blessed! – Kia

  12. Wonderful post! So encouraging not only for single moms but for every single mom as motherhood is a hard task for sure. Grateful for all you shared. Blessings!
    Joanne Viola recently posted…We Can Fight BackMy Profile

    • Thanks for the encouragement Joanne. Mothering can be challenging no matter the circumstance but we can find constant encouragement in Christ. Be blessed! – Kia

  13. I really like the sympathy and encouragement that this article gives. While too often I do believe people divorce for things they should fight for, there are still many out there who have fatherless households for legitimate reasons–none of which the mothers and wives had wanted or planned when they walked down that aisle. Can’t wait to share this post with the single moms in my network. May it be the comfort they need and bring them closer to Christ.

    • Theresa, thank you for sharing this post with the single moms you know. I pray it will give them needed encouragement as they mother their children. Be blessed! – Kia

  14. This is so beautiful! So very true. I loved reading this! Thanks for the encouragement – hopping over from the Compel Link-up.
    Sarah
    http://www.sarahefrazer.com

    • Thanks Sarah! I am glad you stopped by and I appreciate your words. Be blessed! – Kia

  15. Thank you for sharing these words of encouragement. I loved your statement, “Your sacrifice, perseverance, and selfless service are seen by an all-knowing God. And in the midst of overdue bills, incomplete housework, and broken dreams, God the dream-giver is thinking of you.” Isn’t that the truth! He knows our path and He meets our needs, and He never forgets us. Even when the dishes are piling up and the bills keep piling up on the table, He is with us and promises to meet all our needs.
    Joy C. recently posted…Where I’m Headed This Summer…My Profile

    • Yes Joy! I love your words too and I am so thankful that He does know and see us all. I couldn’t do life without Him. Be blessed! – Kia

  16. Kia, my mother raised us three girls without my Dad from the time I was 12, sisters were 10 & 7. Daddy died of pancreatic cancer within 6 months of diagnosis. I was just turning the corner of teenage-years. My Mom did all she knew to raise us well. After many-a-painful teenage moment with the 3 of us, we all turned out well.
    This is such an encouraging post for the many women who are raising families alone. Thank you for writing this and enclosing is in God’s arms.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda
    ~ linda recently posted…Caring for the Caregiver – Part 2 @ SDGMy Profile

    • Linda, thank you for sharing how this post specifically speaks to you. Your mother exhibited such courage, and I can only imagine what she went through raising you and your siblings alone. Your perspective sheds a little bit more light on the incredible task a single mother has. I am thankful God strengthened your mother just as He does for so many more women minute by minute. Thanks for visiting. Be blessed! – Kia

  17. They deserve all the recognition and honor in the world. Magnificent, exceptional creatures. 🙂
    Lux Ganzon recently posted…Questions Of A Hopelessly Delusional PersonMy Profile

  18. Thank you for this. I’m a widowed mom of four and it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m so desperately in need of a break sometimes and overwhelmed and exhausted most of the time. God is so faithful. God is my strength and my miraculous provider. But that doesn’t change that this is hard. Thanks for the cheering. See you at She Speaks 2015!

    • Wow Jenna, I am so humbled to know you were encouraged by this blog. I know it was God’s words for you through me. He does see you and HE knew there would be a day you’d come to this blog and be encouraged. I pray God would give you supernatural strength to finish the task of raising your kids to adulthood. I applaud you and am so honored that you visited my blog. Be blessed! – Kia

  19. Shanese Morris

    I have a better appreciation for single moms after having my own!! This blog post really hit home for a lot of single moms out there. There is no limit what GOD can do !!! Thanks for sharing !!

    • So true Shanese! Your mom is the greatest! I didn’t know how hard it was until I became a mama too. Happy Mother’s Day friend.

  20. A healing balm to open wounds Kia! You have a wonderful heart for ministry. My mother left when I was really young…the opposite gender, but the long lasting effects are very similar. When any parent steps out, the rejection can be crippling without a healthy view of our God. Keep it up lady!
    Meg Gemelli recently posted…Giveaway Winner and Taking a Break? My Profile

    • Wow Meg, I had no idea. I imagine, since you carried a wound like this you too have a tremendous heart for hurting women. I pray God would give you countless opportunities to share the love of Christ with women who need it. I’m so glad you were transparent and joined the conversation today. Be blessed Meg! – Kia

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