Exposing the Root Cause of Daddy Wounds

I have a confession.  If given large amounts of freedom – void of the responsibility to feed, clothe, or take care of anyone or anything – I have been known to binge watch old TV shows all day long. I’m not proud of it, but I do own my periodic plunge into laziness.

It’s the storyline that plants me in between pillows.  A sucker for suspense, one hour becomes four as I try to figure out “who dun it”.  Most intriguing are the unsuspecting plot twist I didn’t see coming.

Confidently, I think the business partner is the culprit, only to discover it was actually the mistress.  Each subsequent episode lures, baits, and keeps me glued to a screen wanting to know the outcome.  I am not alone.  

We are a generation of cats killed by curiosity, slayed by the need to know what happens next.  However, this absorption with fictitious situations keeps us from realizing the greatest plot is the one we’re living.  Reality has been reduced to the daily grind, periodic success, events, and conversations, but this is just the subplot of a much larger story.

Set in motion before our birth was the battle between good and evil, heaven and hell, and God and Satan. I say this with the realization that we live in a practical-teaching-megachurch-age, where words like demonic have almost been omitted from the vocabulary of the average church goer. Many of us find it easier to acknowledge the existence of an omniscient God without embracing the reality of a diabolical enemy.  

When we do acknowledge his presence it is often tainted by Hollywood’s interpretation teetering between extremes.  Either he’s the man in a red catsuit with horns perched on the shoulder of an indecisive actor, or he’s a quick witted super hero fighting crime in an Italian suit.  Neither persona is accurate, duping us into believing Lucifer is predictable, likable, and not that bad. The Bible, on the other hand, gives an opposing perspective of our adversary.

 

Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

1 Peter 5:8 NIV

He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

John 8: 44 NIV

 

When measured against the word of God there is absolutely nothing nonthreatening about him. He is described as a deceiver, a hunter and a killer whose sole purpose is to annihilate his prey, us.  And he will stop at nothing to accomplish this task.  

Satan is the proverbial below the belt hitter.  If given the opportunity, he has the power to impact every area of our lives: that childhood hurt, lingering habits, dangerous temptations, weight loss (or the lack of it), hang-ups, sweet tooths, jobs, and relationships.  And if you’re carrying an unhealed crater-sized wound from your father, he had a hand in that too.

  According to The Washington Times, “Sociologists say it’s common for people to perceive that God is like the fatherly figures in their lives. If dad is caring, patient and concerned, then children will believe God has those same characteristics. And the opposite holds true when a father is harsh, judgmental or absent.”

This is the perfect smoke screen, masterful plan, and hidden schema daughters are blinded to as they endure difficult and nonexistent relationships with their daddies.  It is not coincidental that countless numbers of women have father daughter relationships plagued by: death, abuse, abandonment, incarceration, drug addiction, distance, divorce, and the like.  There is a supernatural plot in play that substantiates why this epidemic is so pervasive.

So the question becomes what should our response be?  You may think your battle is with your daddy, but it is not. You, alone are not powerful enough to change your father or your relationship with him.  The difficult truth is that he may never change.  It is not up to you, but God.  

Tucked within the pages of scripture is explicit instruction on dealing with difficult relationships.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground. . .

Ephesians 6: 12 – 13 (NIV)

When it comes to overcoming daddy wounds, we must be like parasites gleaning from God’s well of life giving sustenance. Our communication with Him must be constant, expressing the ups and downs in this journey through I -can’t-make-it without-you-prayer. Most importantly, our resolve must be cemented, armed with the knowledge that although we have a very real opponent, we have a victorious God who has already won the battle on our behalf.

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12 Comments

  1. Oh, Kia! Yes! I find it unfortunate that the relationship picture used to explain God to us has been so distorted by society. No fathers are perfect, except the One in Heaven, but it seems a slow moral decline has tainted not only our view of the man we call daddy, but also of our Heavenly Fathers. But you are right, we must look to God and remember He has already won the war for our souls. Blessings, liz
    LIz recently posted…Finding God in Unanswered PrayersMy Profile

    1. I couldn’t agree more. God has already overcome the world and this encompasses the relationship a daughter has with her dad. Thanks so much for joining the conversation today and be blessed! – Kia

  2. Challenging message, Kia. I had a wonderful dad growing up. I’m blessed to still have him. He’s not perfect, but he was (and is) a beautiful example of God’s love to me, and pointing me in the direction of that love. As a parent, even though I’m not a “dad,” I’m often challenged what view of God I give my kids by my sometimes more than authoritarian parenting … And then I remember God’s mercy. I want my kids to know THAT! It challenges me to dial things down a notch or two so I can (hopefully) show them that God is gentle and kind.
    Dianne Thornton recently posted…When You Want To WorryMy Profile

    1. Dianne, it is truly a blessing that you grew up with and still have a wonderful father. I think the challenge that some women who did not grow up with their father experience is perceiving God to be like their biological dad. There is however, no comparison with God. He is in a category all his own – and yes He is merciful. I pray God would give your kids a vivid revelations of who He is that is not dependent on the parent that you are or are not. Thank you so much for joining the conversation today and be blessed! – Kia

  3. Oh goodness, Kia. This one hit me right in the feels. This is my first time visiting your blog, and when I read this I wanted to cry. I’ve been told that I have trust issues with my Heavenly Father because of trust issues I had with my earthly father growing up. It was such an “ah-ha!” moment because it made so much sense, yet I’d never thought of it. Thank you so much for writing about this, it was definitely needed today! XO
    Stefani @ Crafty Christian recently posted…Life Lessons {From A Three Year Old}My Profile

    1. Stefani, I was shocked myself when I heard this message but then something clicked for me and everything made so much sense. The good new is that no matter the type of father we had, God is truly the perfect Father. He can take every last one of our insecurities regarding a relationship with Him and secure us with his unfailing, unchanging, ever-faithful self. So glad you joined the conversation today. Be blessed! – Kia

  4. Powerful truth here. None of us are perfect, including our Daddies. Only God can release them and us from the bondage of sin and hurt. And our fight is indeed against the blinding hold of the prowling enemy whose sole task is to kill and destroy. Our best defence is pursuing a relationship with our living breathing Creator who brings abundant life and not with the idols the Enemy tries to blind us into worshipping. Thank you for your encouragement here.

    1. You said that so well Anna and I wholeheartedly agree. Our best defense is to pursue a relationship with God as if our life depends on it because it does. Thanks for joining the conversation today and be blessed! – Kia

  5. Yes and AMEN! Oh, that devil. But, OH, OUR FATHER. He’s got us firmly in the palm of His hand. Great encouragement today. Thank you! Here from Suzie’s #LiveFreeThursday. 🙂

  6. This is just beautiful! I have long said that Satan has it out for daddies. They are under attack and He works insidiously to bring them down in order to tarnish our God picture. He does the same for marriages, also supposed to be an image of our relationship with God. What a great culmination of this beautiful Father’s day series. Thank you.
    Kate Redmon recently posted…Word Wednesday 6/14/17My Profile

    1. Kate!!!!! Thanks for your words and thanks for following the series my fellow sister from another mister. Please come back and write another post :)! See you in cyber space and be blessed! – Kia

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