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Kia Stephens


December 20, 2016

When Life Is Unresolved

December 20, 2016 | By | 8 Comments

I just love closure. Don’t you?

The End of an Argument

A Paid Off Bill

A Happy Ending

Like eating a piece of chocolate in a warm bubble bath, a resolved issue offers a little slice of heaven on earth.  While nestled in this place anxiety ceases and fear subsides: soothing the unrest in our souls.  Instantly, we experience the peace that resolution brings.

Wouldn’t be great if we could live here? Housing all of life’s woes in cute little bow topped boxes would be awesome.  We could keep all crises at bay, thus rendering a controlled and predictable life.

Herein lies the root of my love affair with closure: I’m addicted to control.  I want to establish an end date for the curve balls and foreseeable challenges in life.  Quite frankly, I would like to predetermine which scenarios I experience altogether.

I realize this utopia does not exist for anyone.  No matter how amazing someone’s life appears to be from the skewed perspective of social media, everyone faces the uncertainty of an unresolved circumstance.

A Broken Relationship

A Loved One’s Sickness

An Unclean House (Ahem)

A Childhood Hurt

A Troubled Marriage



Sometimes this is life.  Like tiny drops of rain before a downpour, the unexpected happens.  When it does we are often left with one big pile of unresolved mess.  This is usually the point where I try to fix things.

That doesn’t work.  

After multiple DIY attempts I end up succumbing to the reality that there are some things in life I simply cannot solve.  Despite how much I finagle, scheme, whine and diligently work, there are dilemmas beyond my control.  It is here that I realize how finite I am in the sight of an infinite God.

As I surrender to His strength in light of my weakness I see that there is power in the unsettled places of our lives.  When life is unresolved we can depend on God who resolves all things.  Maybe this is what the apostle Paul was talking about when he made his own cry for closure.


Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  2 Corinthians 12: 8 – 9 (NIV)

Paul, a bold servant of God,  made a desperate plea for resolution not once but three times; yet he was denied.  Scripture does not indicate the source of Paul’s discomfort but we know he was tormented by it.  As a result, Paul decided to highlight his weaknesses in order for Christ’s power to manifest.

From Paul we learn that true peace is not dependent on closure but persist in the absence of it.



 When our outcomes are unknown we can cling to the known attributes of a God who never changes.


The temptation is to equate God’s love for us with the absence of unresolved problems.  If He answers our cries for relief, if he resolves the unresolved then He cares for us.


We are loved deeply by God regardless of what we experience in life.  


What He allows may be the very tool He uses to draw us closer.  So if you, like me, find yourself smack dab in the middle of unresolved life, know that God is with you.  



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  1. “When life is unresolved we can depend on God who resolves all things.” Amen!

    Unresolved issues and situations keep that sick feeling going in my stomach, but trusting in, and depending on, God brings peace. Peace that can’t easily be understood. I’m struggling with this very thing this morning–letting trust override inner turmoil.

    Visiting from Purposeful Faith.
    Merry Christmas!
    Laura Rath recently posted…The Glory of GodMy Profile

    • Laura, learning to trust that an invisible God can do a better job than me is such a mind shift. I’m right there with you friend, but I am determined to lay my anxiety at the foot of the cross no matter how many times I have to start over and try it again. God got your circumstances and mine too. Thanks for joining the conversation and be blessed! – Kia

  2. Like you, I dread those days in the messy middle . . .I like a nice ribbon tied on the decisions and the projects — and I’m definitely a destination kind of girl. It’s great to be reminded that Jesus is there in the middle with us and that we can trust Him when life seems unresolved.
    Michele Morin recently posted…Rekindling RelationshipMy Profile

    • Well said Michele. Jesus is with us in the middle. Great to know if we have to visit the middle He is there with us. So glad you joined the conversation today! Be blessed! – Kia

  3. Kia, this is so helpful. Thanks for calling out the sin of control for what it is when it comes to resolution and closure. I struggled for a long time with the deep hurt of knowing a particular issue would never have closure and knowing I couldn’t do a thing about it. But you’re absolutely right- we can’t control it into closure. God’s still God in our weakness, and His love is unconditional. So much heartening truth here. Thanks!

    • Bethany I glad this was helpful for you. I wrote not to call out sin but because I truly needed the words I wrote. Difficult to embrace but oh so true. God grace is sufficient. Thanks so much for joining the conversation today dear friend and be blessed! – Kia

  4. This is beautiful. Our circumstances may not be perfect but we have a Father in heaven whom we can depend because He loves us so. Thanks for sharing this encouraging post.

    • Edith!!!!! Hey lady. Thanks for your heartfelt encouragement all the way from Nigeria. It is truly appreciated and YES in imperfect situations WE CAN DEPEND ON GOD. So glad you joined the conversation today. Be blessed lady and I will see you in cyber space. – Kia

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