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Kia Stephens


January 1, 2017

1 New Year’s Resolution I Kept & Why I Kept It

January 1, 2017 | By | 22 Comments

I’m a great starter, but not that hot a finisher. I begin exercising and then stop, create schedules I don’t follow, and binge on junk after declaring vegan status. I’m what you would call a big idea person.

I get a larger than life aha, hear a gunshot, and then dodge out of the starting blocks like a wild horse. I can go too (for a little while anyway). Then the day to day drudgery usually wears on me until I finally slow down to a motionless halt. But as I reflect on the New Year I have exciting news.

Drum roll please!

Ahem. Two years ago I launched a blog and guess what? I’m still writing; I didn’t quit!

Which means it’s officially my blogiversary. And I am not saying this braggadociously because it is totally out of character for me to still be trucking around like the energizer bunny. I’m sayin’ it because I’ve figured out why this blog is different from the exercising goal, clean eating declaration, and my inconsistent schedule keeping.

It has absolutely nothing to do with some sort of innate swagger. In fact, I can’t take credit for it at all. Left to my own will power I would have quit a long time ago.

This is because with every post I feel like I am walking down main street completely naked. Blogging requires being vulnerable with absolute strangers who can read your post, share it, and comment all over the world wide web. And although I consider myself president and founder of Extroverts of America, this is uncomfortable at times.

So the question becomes why on earth am I still blogging?

I’ve whittled it down to three reasons.

Reason #1 The Cause

Just in case you don’t know, I’m not a DIY blogger. My blog topics are not about motherhood, marriage, or how to keep a neat and tidy house (for obvious reasons). My blog is for women who grew up without the love and affirmation of their biological dads.

My blog is for women like me. I’m not unique. There are countless women, each with a difficult story about the absence of their father.

With each new year the problem seems to be getting worse and not better. According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, “1 out of three children live without their biological father in the home”. And whereas we may not see the faces of these children, we see the moral decline of our society. We see the crime, abuse of women, and neglect of children and inherently know it directly correlates to the absence of a father.

As long as there is still a cause, I will continue to write.

Reason #2 The Readers

Not often, but definitely every time I’m ready to quit, I get an email. Although each letter is from a different woman, they always reduce me to my knees. Women who only know me through the pages of my blog tell me everything about their fathers.

They candidly reveal stories of abandonment, adultery, and addictions. They speak openly of devastating events in the past and present. And in that moment I am reminded of why I continuously choose to walk down main street in my birthday suite.

I am writing for the reader.

I see her.

I know her.

I am her.

As long as she exist, I will continue to write.

Reason #3 My God

It was never my intentions to be a blogger. I only wanted to write a book, but the very manuscript I worked on for more than a decade was lost instantly when I dropped my external hard drive. I am convinced this was not happenstance.

 No matter how much finagle and feebly attempt to control my life, eventually I realize it’s all futile.



As long as He compels me to, I will continue to write.

So what about you? Did you work on some 2017 goals or New Year’s resolutions? Not sure if you want to take advice from a non finishing big idea person like myself but I do have a few suggestions.

Determine what God wants you to do.
Create goals that will impact the lives of others.
Make sure it is way bigger than anything you could accomplish in your own strength!

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19: 21


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  1. So, so true! Every day that we show up at that keyboard and pour our thoughts out for our readers, we are acting in resolve. As Madeleine L’Engle said, a writer will be a writer even if no one but God is reading.
    Michele Morin recently posted…Another Country YearMy Profile

    • Thanks for the quote Michele. We are compelled to write for the reader. So glad you joined the conversation today Michele. Be blessed friend and Happy New Year to you and yours! – Kia

  2. Seems we’re alike on the being poor at finishing aspect but when God is in the business, that makes all the difference.
    Edith recently posted…I SPOKE TOO SOON! (POEM)My Profile

    • Hey Edith, you are most certainly right! God does make the difference. He enables us to do the things we can’t in our own strength. Thanks for joining the conversation today and be blessed! – Kia

  3. From one “non-finishing big idea person” to another…I really appreciated this post and the message deeply resonates in me!

    This is my first time visiting, but I think I’ll hang around a bit. My parents divorced when I was 5 and those scars can continue to be influential throughout a person’s life.

    • Cheryl, we should be friends! Thanks for being vulnerable with me. We can eat the task finishing elephant together, one bite at a time. I am so glad my post resonated with you and I pray any others that you read would encourage you where you need it the most. Thanks for joining the conversation today and be blessed!

  4. I loved your post. I found it so encouraging as a writer. I started blogging this year. I have not hit my year anniversary but have hit almost 6 months. So many times I have wanted to quit. I never set out to be a write but God has whispered in my ear for years.
    Maree Dee recently posted…God Has A PlanMy Profile

    • Maree, DON’T QUIT!!!! I know it doesn’t feel like it but there is a person on the other side of your words that needs you. I cannot tell you how many times I was about to throw in the proverbial towel on blogging all together and someone somewhere in cyber space emailed me. You may not know it yet but someone is being blessed by your words. Hang in there friend. Know that God is with you! Thanks for sharing and BE BLESSED!!!!! – Kia

  5. I love this. Seriously. Love. I wrote about this very thing a few weeks ago….being a quitter, but still here writing (imperfectly). It’s so good to know I’m not the only one.

    Also, Happy Blogiversary! It’s quite an accomplishment and you should be very proud to honor the Father with your words and help so many. I’ve never been here, but I will be back 🙂 It’s beautiful to know that you are taking an overlooked cause and bringing light, truth and healing to women.

    So glad I visited from #TellHisStory!

    Also, ” braggadociously” ! I’m a word person and I loved this one!
    Becky Hastings recently posted…My Word-of-the-Year (And Why You Need One Too)My Profile

    • Yes Becky the struggle is REAL, but to be completely honest, I’d probably have to check myself into some type of rehab if i ever stop blogging. It is therapeutic for me in sooooo many ways. It is my greatest challenge and comfort all at the same time. I’m hoping you understand that. Anyway, thanks for your kind words friend. So glad to connect with you on #TellHisStory and be blessed! – Kia

  6. How cool to rub shoulders with you over at Holley’s, to meet you and hear your heart for fatherhood. I’ve never seen an emphasis like yours … so needed, so craved! I’m applauding you and trust that God is going to use your online home to bless more than you’d imagine.

    New Year’s Blessings, Kia …
    Linda Stoll recently posted…What Saved My Life Last YearMy Profile

    • Oh Wow Linda, thank you for your heartfelt encouragement. I created it for others not knowing just how much I needed it for myself. So glad to connect with you and thanks for joining the conversation. Be blessed! – Kia

  7. Happy Blogiversary! So great to hear how God is moving and sustaining your ministry! Many blessings as you move forward in 2017!
    LIz recently posted…Word Nerd Wednesday – PredestinedMy Profile

    • Thanks Liz! God is sharing the message of this blog with the women who need it. So glad you joined the conversation today! Be blessed! – Kia

  8. Great message here! I get it. Didn’t realize this was your niche. I’m definitely in the right place. I didn’t have my dad in the home but I had a Heavenly father who took care of all my needs 😉 — thanks for the invite. I look forward to reading more from you.
    Cece recently posted…The Value of Self-Worth…My Profile

    • Cynthia! The Knowledge Maven is in Da House. Welcome friend. I am so humbled and honored to provide content for women like you and me. Thanks for visiting and I will be on your site soon. Be blessed! – Kia

  9. I am glad to be your neighbor at Faith Barista! I really enjoyed reading your post and love the three reasons you listed to continue blogging. Happy two years blogging to you and many more! Happy New Year!
    Michelle Viscuse recently posted…Expecting God’s Peace in AnxietyMy Profile

    • Thanks Michelle! We all need a purpose bigger than ourselves to keep us going. Thank you for the well wishes. So glad you joined the conversation today and be blessed! – Kia

  10. Happy New Year, Kia! And goodness am I sure glad you are still blogging! You are right, there are so many women who need the message God has given you. They need the encouragement and they need the hope! I’m so glad you are a part of #MomentsofHope!
    Blessings and smiles,
    Lori Schumaker recently posted…Fear Fighting: When You’ve Lost Sight of YourselfMy Profile

    • Hi Lori, I’m grateful to still be here too! Thank you for your encouragement and I am glad to be a part of #MomentsofHope ! Thanks for joining the conversation today and be blessed! – Kia

  11. Kia, I’ve been blogging for two years also! Happy Blogiversary to us! 😀
    I adore this post. I wasn’t adopted or raised by a step-father or anything, but I’ve never had my father’s eye. Never felt validated or enough for him. Sure can leave an empty place in your heart, can’t it? I’m not sure we’ve ever run across one another in the blogosphere, but I look forward to connecting with you. Followed your link from Christa’s site today. Great to meet you. Happy New Year!
    Brenda recently posted…Winners and Words ( + Linkup )My Profile

    • Hi Brenda. Yes it can leave a void. I am learning how to look to God as Father to fill those empty places. That’s what this blog is all about. i pray that God would saturate your heart with His love. So glad it encouraged you today and that you courageously shared your truth with me. Thanks my friend and be blessed! – Kia

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