3 Types of Vulnerability to Avoid
I come from a long line of talkers: my grandfather, my mother, and me. Effortlessly I can go for an hours without coming up for air (My husband will attest to this.). I’m also highly extroverted, which makes a for an lively cocktail in any social setting.
My personality yields itself to being free and transparent – a real party starter – , however, it has also been my Achilles’ heel. Life has taught me that sometimes you need to be quiet; I’ve learned this from the school of bad decisions. Which is why I realized there was a need to follow up my previous post on being vulnerable with 3 types of vulnerability to avoid.
#1 Vomit Vulnerability
It sounds gross but the severity of this type of communication needs a visual. There have been numerous times in my life when I was so conversation starved that the moment I had someone who would listen I divulged too much too fast. This blind spot is highlighted in the Bible.
Proverbs 10: 19 (NIV) illustrates this when it says “Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.”
Unfortunately prudence wasn’t high up on my list of desired attributes. I had to learn to ask for this like the
Bible says in James 1: 5 (NIV) “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
If we are going to avoid Vomit Vulnerability we must ask God for wisdom when it comes to the words we share.
#2 Substitute god Vulnerability
Because I am such a people person I am often tempted to move God out of His rightful place in my life and insert someone else. Unbeknownst to them, I’ve inserted friends, my husband, and leaders I know and have never met. I’ve mistakenly placed I priority on the created rather than the creator.
I have learned that there is no substitute for God. He should be consulted first and often exclusively.
In John 14: 26 (NIV) it says, “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.”
I was recently reminded that the Holy Spirit is not God’s little cousin; He is God. And the Bible describes Him as an Advocate and helper. Consulting Him first is far better than turning to mankind. We are flawed and limited by a finite perspective but God’s wisdom is limitless.
#3 Foolish Vulnerability
I was raised among the older generation so I’ve accumulated a few phrases that they would say. “Chile’ she can’t hold water.” Have you ever heard this? It means the person can’t keep a secret.
Do you know anyone like this or have you ever been this person? I can answer yes to both. When it comes to being vulnerable we have to evaluate who we are being vulnerable with.
What is their track record? Can they hold water or do they tell other people’s business? More than likely, if they’ve told you the secrets of others they will tell yours too.
The Bible admonishes us to exercise caution with our words in Proverbs 17: 27 – 28 (NIV) when it says,
“The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even – tempered. Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.”
All I can say is OUCH, I’ve been an unwise fool. By God’s grace I will play the fool no more. In having a life enriched by vulnerability I am choosing to do it by exercising wisdom, consulting God, sometimes being QUIET!