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Kia Stephens


January 23, 2018

3 Ways You Can Believe in You

January 23, 2018 | By | No Comments

Recently, I took yet another temperament test.  Before we were given the instructions I had already categorized myself and begun to figure out the temperaments of those around me.  I can get a little obsessive compulsive when it comes to these test;  I’ve been taking them for 20 years.  

It’s because I’m the driven type.  I read leadership books for leisure, enjoy creating something out of nothing and I naturally position myself to lead.  I do it effortlessly; it is just the way I’m wired.  

Which is part of the reason I thought I knew everything at 22.  I had my mission, vision, core values and life mapped out.  I was going to take this world by storm but this world took me first.

What my life plan did not consider, was how I had been reshaped and redefined by my childhood.  I hadn’t factored in how the pain of those experiences would creep into adulthood like a thief: stealing the hopes of the woman I would become before I could become her.  

In about a years time, I went from being a confident driven woman to one who was fearful and insecure.  I found myself paralyzed by the reality that life had not gone the way I anticipated it would go. I wanted to move forward but I was so concerned with people’s opinion of me I could not be my authentic self.  

Stuck in the performance trap I lived life for everyone except the God who created me.  I was broken, hurting, lost and in desperate need of a Savior.  Have you ever been there?

Have you ever found yourself busting at the seams with untapped potential but unable to grasp it because of barriers standing between your present self and the woman you longed to be?  These barriers include but are not limited to your upbringing, abilities, self-image, hurts, and your worth.    

Honestly, I question if there is a woman among us who has never doubted her worth? Never pondered if she was good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, or talented enough?  I would venture to say the answer, even for the most confident of women, is no.

I believe every woman, at some point, will come face to face with whether she can really become the woman she aspires to be.   When she does, how she responds will either cripple her or propel her forward.  It is for this reason I want to offer you 3 ways you can believe in you.

#1  Watch Your Mouth

I have been the queen of self-sabotage:  nullifying my own hopes and dreams with the words I allowed out of my mouth.    In Proverbs 18: 21 it says,  “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”  We must practice speaking life into ourselves.

#2  Watch Who You Hang Around

Although Jesus was a lover of mankind He was selective about those he allowed in His inner circle.  We too should adopt this model.  Everyone is not qualified to handle the core of who we are.  

We should be discriminant about who we share our souls with.  This is why it says in Proverbs 13: 20, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

#3  Believe What God Says About You

We live in a noisy age where everyone has an opinion about everything (even about you).  Gone are the days when people used to say, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say at all” (and certainly not on the internet).   Thankfully, we get to choose who we listen to.

It makes sense tune our ears to the words of God;  He knows us best.  Before time, God envisioned everything about us:  our personality, quirkiness, habits, and our outer image.  He strategically formed us in our mother’s womb. 

Who we are is not happenstance but an intentional decision by God.   We can rejoice that He has done a great work in creating us.  Just as it says in Psalms 139:14, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;  your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  


In keeping with believing what God says about you, I’d like to suggest an additional resource.  A few months ago I got the opportunity to preview “The Dream of You” by Jo Saxton.  If you are having a difficult time believing in yourself this book is an excellent place to start.  You can find out more details by clicking on the image below.

Also, don’t miss my interview with her about the book and how her father’s abandonment impacted her identity.


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