Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image

Female - Fatherswap.com

Kia Stephens

By

February 26, 2017

3 Ways Being Vulnerable Might Change Your Life

February 26, 2017 | By | 22 Comments

I’ve lived a lifetime trying to be perfect.

Perfect Appearance

Perfect Speech

Perfect Life

But adulthood has been the absolute antithesis of perfection.  In fact, I might venture to say, it has been characterized more by an unexpected slow death of my ideals and expectations.

Read More

Kia Stephens

By

January 30, 2017

Dating & the Daddyless Daughters Part III : How the Daddyless Daughter Views Sex

January 30, 2017 | By | No Comments

It is difficult to talk about the subject of absent dads and daughters without talking about sex.   We are familiar with the data that states women without fathers are more susceptible to getting their needs met from sexual relationships with men.  Coming up on the next episode of digging deeper we are going to take a closer look and the impact absent dads have on the sexual relationships of their daughters.

Read More

Kia Stephens

By

January 9, 2017

Dating & the Daddyless Daughter Part II

January 9, 2017 | By | 6 Comments

Have you ever surveyed your strengths and weakness? I have and I absolutely love to dwell on my strengths and steer clear of all my weaknesses even though I know this is the path I must take in order to grow.   Read More

Kia Stephens

By

December 20, 2016

When Life Is Unresolved

December 20, 2016 | By | 8 Comments

I just love closure. Don’t you?

The End of an Argument

A Paid Off Bill

A Happy Ending

Read More

Kia Stephens

By

October 18, 2016

Dating & Daddyless Daughters Live Stream Hangout

October 18, 2016 | By | No Comments

In this intimate live stream hangout with Tiffany Wilson of www.tiffytalks.com we talked about how fathers impact the decisions we make in our dating relationships.

Read More

Kia Stephens

By

October 12, 2016

Digging Deeper Episode 9: Dating & Daddyless Daughters Part I

October 12, 2016 | By | No Comments

Whether your daddy was in your life or not.  He will play a role in your romantic relationships. On this episode of Digging Deeper Kia explores the topic of Dating and Daddyless Daughters.

Read More

Kia Stephens

By

August 14, 2016

4 Reasons Why Men Don’t Father (Part II)

August 14, 2016 | By | 4 Comments

“I hate him,” a reader said to me as she described her father.  She went on to say, “I don’t forgive him for abandoning me and making me feel neglected. . . I do not forgive him for forgetting he had a child and moving on with his life.  I can’t forgive him.”

Read More

Kia Stephens

By

June 27, 2016

Digging Deeper Episode 2A: God, Satan, Daddies & Daughters

June 27, 2016 | By | No Comments

Exposing the Root Cause of Daddy Wounds

Don’t miss a post.  Subscribe Below.

GET encouragement In YOUR

Kia Stephens

By

February 1, 2016

The Truth About Self-Hatred

February 1, 2016 | By | 2 Comments

“I was teased growing up,” I began.  “For three years, male and female tweens talked about the size of my nose, the color of my skin, my skinny legs, and non existent breast,” I continued.  Initially, I had no intentions of divulging my adolescent tale of woe with the fourth and fifth grade mentees, but I deemed it necessary.

Just before my comments the girls viewed a PowerPoint presentation of women thought of as beautiful:  Beyonce, Rihanna, Ciara, and then Lupita Nyong’o.  The immediate response to Lupita’s image was one of disdain. She was dark and her hair was short.

“She’s bald headed,” one said.  Another described her as, “Black.” Even though her features mirrored several of the girls in the room, she was harshly criticized.  Before I knew it an indignation rose in me.  I had to speak.

I had to speak because I knew somewhere in that crowd of estrogen was a girl who felt just as I did when I was her age.  She needed an advocate, someone to stand up and say you are beautiful.  She needed someone to teach her how to love herself.  

The effects of self hatred and low self-esteem are subtle: slowly infiltrating our psyche until we don’t even notice it.  Constantly, we are bombarded with a barrage of images dictating what beauty is and is not. Air brushed women with hair and wardrobe stylist, personal makeup artist and plastic surgery are touted as the world’s standard of beauty.  And I’ll be the first to say I have believed the lie, often enduring a torture filled regiment of hair straightening, face painting, eyebrow plucking, and spanx (need I say more).  

I do this in an attempt to reach the ever rising beauty bar.  If I didn’t straighten, paint,  pluck or squeeze my appearance would be drastically different.  In my purest state I’d have bushy eyebrows, uneven skin, a protruding belly, and a rather large afro.  This image will never meet the societal standard of beauty, but it does meet God’s.  

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Don’t miss a post.  Subscribe Below.

GET encouragement In YOUR

Kia Stephens

By

January 9, 2016

3 Reasons to Break Up With Fear

January 9, 2016 | By | 5 Comments

For as long as I can remember, I have had an on-again-off-again relationship with fear.  Initially, he took the role of a protector, much like a father or a big brother would, however his presence soon turned controlling.  His reign rendered me the cowardly lion: afraid to live with him and afraid to live without him.  

He was there in my youth when I crossed the street, teaching me about the fear of danger.  His presence became more dominant in middle and high school as he exposed me to the fear of rejection. And later in adulthood he introduced me to the fear of failure.

What if you get hurt?

Don’t take that risk!

You might fail.

What will people think?

His words stifled and steered my decisions causing me to live a lesser version of me.  And despite the unhealthy nature of our relationship I stayed because this place felt more normal than abnormal.  To walk away from my relationship with him would be to abandon the false sense of security that he provided.  

To read the rest of this post click here.  

GET encouragement In YOUR

%d bloggers like this:
UA-59728488-2 ©2014 www.fatherswap.com | All Rights Reserved.